Friday, May 22, 2015

Pride and Prejudice is 20: Here’s 10 reasons why mortal men will never match up to Colin Firth’s Mr Darcy

Ross McG for
Friday 22 May 2015 12:42 pm

Pride and Prejudice is 20 years old.

Yes, everyone’s favourite author from the 1990s, Jane Austen, penned her modern classic novel two decades ago, inspiring Helen Fielding to write her 1996 bestseller, Bridget Jones’s Diary, a year later.
Hang on, that’s not right.

Pride and Prejudice was, of course, published in 1813, but if you say the two ‘P’ words to anyone these days, the first thing that comes into their head is an image of Colin Firth dripping wet in a white shirt.

The six-part BBC adaptation of Austen’s novel, broadcast in 1995, was a phenomenon, like the furore over that buff guy from Poldark’s abs multiplied by a thousand.

While the show itself was splendid and Jennifer Ehle was the definitive on-screen Elizabeth Bennet, P&P soared because of Colin Firth’s portrayal of Mr Darcy.

There is no way puny mortal men can ever match up to him. Here are the reasons why.

1. His wet white shirt

It looks like the kind of thing your grandad wore in bed. A normal bloke would look like a giant baby in it, but not Colin Firth, whose one-man wet T-shirt contest echoes through the ages.

2. His name

Mr Darcy isn’t just called Mr Darcy, you know. Like us, he has a first name too. But unlike us, it isn’t Colin or Phil or Dave or something equally unlikely to wow members of the opposite sex, or any sex: it’s only flipping Fitzwilliam. There’s no way us norms can match a guy with a name like that.

3. His hair

If George Best’s and Michael Hutchence’s hair follicles went out for a drink, stumbled back to a hotel room together and fumbled around for a few hours, they might just produce Firth’s Darcy thatch. That barnet is a thing of beauty.

4. His sideburns

Today’s hipsters are morons, obviously.

But chief among their many foibles is their preference for full beard. Full beard does not make grown women and men swoon.

Mr Darcy knows this, opting to display his facial hair in a more subtle manner. Crucially, his burns are bushy but not too bushy. Get sideboards wrong and you end up looking like an angry farmer.

Get them right, and you could have some Darcy magic. Except you can’t. Cos you’re not 1995 Colin Firth.

6. His steed

The dude has a horse! How can an average guy compete with that?

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