DAN STEVENS

Dan Stevens on the real reason behind Downton's success

Downton Abbey: Uniforms and fisticuffs, television can't get better than this
Photo: REX FEATURES

By Dan Stevens
6:30AM BST 01 Oct 2011
The Telegraph (telegraph.co.uk)

The collective pulse of the nation, I’m told, is being quickened on Sundays by the sight of the men of Downton in uniform. Indeed, “uniform” seemed to be trending high on Twitter as the bombs and one-liners from the Dowager exploded about the Abbey.

As fashion week evaporates once more, this “uniform fetish” demands undressing. Historically, soldiers have often had their pick of the dames. But did Victorian bobbies have the ladies hurling their bloomers? Did the men who tackled the Great Fire of London get extra lucky afterwards?

Anthropologically it makes sense, I suppose. The subconscious mutters to the heart/knees: “Fear not, I shall protect you from this baddie/fire/army – and then we shall make love!” Do traffic wardens have a kinky following? “Why sir, you have reprimanded this illegally parked vehicle! Let me reward you…” An actor in a uniform in a Sunday evening show can only really protect against thoughts of the Monday morning to follow – still worthy of reward, no?

The “uniform thing” might also be attributed to a combination of sartorial elegance with the threat of violence. While there is already plenty of violence on television, I think it could be dressed better. I was not the only one thrilled last week by scenes of Alexander Lebedev, financial backer of the Evening Standard and Independent newspapers, “neutralising” an obnoxious fellow panellist on a Russian television debate show – with his fists.

Question Time and The Review Show’s viewing figures could be immeasurably increased by the fusion of debate and fisticuffs. As “chess-boxing” (alternate rounds of chess and boxing) takes off in trendy inner-city circles, surely it is time for physical combat to enter television’s more intellectual realms: replace Red or Black? with Rousseau or Barthes? and have Greer and Bragg brawl for 30 minutes.TV gold.

On the sartorial home front, reaching for my “autumn wardrobe”, I have vowed to exact extreme violence on the bastard moths who have left me walking around like a woollen colander. I’m now angrily stocking my anti-moth arsenal, though I’m told the only way is to place your entire house in deep-freeze and hope for the best. I’d call in pest control, but I’m concerned that their uniforms might excite the wife.