THE THREE MUSKETEERS IN 3D
Cert 12A, 110mins ★★
Sabres waggle from the screen, expensive CGI brings 17th century France to life and there’s a dream cast of British up-and-comers.
 
But Paul WS Anderson’s take on Alexandre Dumas’ swashbuckling characters winds up being as much fun as putting your privates in a guillotine.
 
Matthew Macfadyen, Luke Evans and Ray Stevenson play, respectively, Athos, Aramis and Porthos, whose theft of an airship blueprint comes a cropper when they’re betrayed by Milady (Milla Jovovich) who flogs the plans to an evil Englishman (Orlando Bloom).

What follows is a series of swordfights, tired one-liners and appearances from Christoph Waltz, Juno Temple, James Corden, and Logan Lerman as D’Artagnan.

While it’s not quite as unspeakable as other Anderson efforts (such as Mortal Kombat and the Resident Evil series) it’s well within striking distance.

THE REEL LOWDOWN
IF YOU LIKED... Time Bandits, Prince Of Persia... YOU’LL LIKE THIS.